Selfish Man Takes Apart Family Heirloom To Create New Ring For His Girlfriend, Fuming When Sister Fixes His Mess

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abbyadler
Jun 21, 2022 3:00 PM EDT

Family heirlooms are no joke. They are meant to be passed down from generation to generation so that the family's legacy and story continues to live on. While that may not hold significance for every family member, they should still be sensitive about how important the family heirloom is to other people. If someone doesn't care about the heirloom enough, then it should be passed on to somebody who actually does. We assume that this is the standard way to go with family heirlooms, but apparently, not everyone is on the same page. In today's 'Am I the A$$hole?' post, OP told us about how he received the family heirloom ring to give to his girlfriend, only for them to remove the diamond from the ring and place it in a different setting. It would have been okay for him to do if he asked their mom, but he was so careless with the heirloom that he didn't even think to. Luckily, his sister got involved to save the day, which pissed him off for no reason. Read all the details below. 

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  • 01
    Rectangle - r/AmItheAsshole. Posted by u/Cold-Bookkeeper-4728 11 hours ago S 26 AITA for taking the diamond out of an heirloom ring for my gf's engagement ring?
    via u/Cold-Bookkeeper-4728

    The whole point of a family heirloom is to cherish it, not take it apart. 

  • 02
    Font - I (28M) have a 32F sister and a 37M brother. My grandmother left my mother her diamond engagement ring. My mother always said she would leave the ring to my sister (32F), but my sister recently told her that since she has an engagement ring from her husband and she's not really into jewelry anyway why not leave grandma's ring to one of our brother's kids (my sister is childfree).
    via u/Cold-Bookkeeper-4728

    The sister sounds pretty chill, but OP is about to ruin that chill with his carelessness. Just keep reading. 

  • 03
    Font - A couple of months ago I told mom I was going to propose to my gf, and she offered me gram's ring to do it with. My gf was amazed at the size of the rock, but didn't like the ring - it was a traditional solitaire setting in white gold - and asked if we could take the diamond out and use it in something more modern. She picked a new platinum setting with a couple of smaller diamonds and I was glad to save money. When my mother found out she was surprised, but not upset, and asked if she co
    via u/Cold-Bookkeeper-4728
  • 04
    Font - This weekend my fiancée and me and my sister and her husband were visiting our parents for father's day, and my sister was excited and asked to see Missy's ring. When my fiancée held out her hand my sister had a surprised pikachu face and said she thought I was proposing with gram's ring? I told her it was gram's diamond, and she said "oh," and that was it.
    via u/Cold-Bookkeeper-4728
  • 05
    Font - On Sunday I noticed my mother was wearing the old setting, but it had a blue stone (a sapphire). I asked her what that was about and she said my sister took it to a local jeweler and had the new stone put in and gave it to her as an early birthday present, and mom was all happy she could still wear the setting, which she'd missed having on her finger (she used to wear it all the time).
    via u/Cold-Bookkeeper-4728
  • 06
    Font - I confronted my sister later that night and asked her what her problem was. She said nothing at first but I kept pushing, and finally she said look, if I knew you were going to mutilate gram's ring I wouldn't have told mom to give it to you. I said she didn't - she said mom should give it to one of the nephews. Sis said that's because she assumed mom would want to keep it during her lifetime. Then she said if all Missy and I wanted was the diamond that was our prerogative, but the setting
    via u/Cold-Bookkeeper-4728
  • 07
    Font - Here_for_tea_ . 45 min. ago Partassipant [1] Yikes, OP. He didn't care about a family heirloom. He just wanted to save money on an engagement ring. Cool. Cool cool cool. YTA.
    via u/Here_for_tea_
  • 08
    Font - claytoncash 5 hr. ago YTA. OP is absurd. One, it's totally lame to take the diamond and basically discard the ring. Like, I can't believe mom even let him do that. I don't know anyone personally that would be okay with treating an heirloom this way, but it was his choice to do and no one tripped. But him "confronting" his sister is absurd. There is literally nothing to confront. It would be as if she rescued the gemless ring out of a trashcan and put a new gem in it and gave it to mom. He
    via u/claytoncash
  • 09
    Font - lvl1fevi 4 hr. ago You can tell her didn't ask her if it was ok. She "found out". That makes it even shittier. YTA OP.
    via u/lvl1fevi
  • 10
    Font - TheatreKid1020 · 6 hr. ago Yeah. You only do this with explicit permission from the person who gave you the ring. My engagement ring has the diamond from my mom's but she knew that was the plan when my fiancé asked for the ring. My cousin is getting her grandma's ring bc she's the only one who wouldn't change anything about. Her sisters got rings that it was not a big deal if they changed them. YTA. Should have asked if it was okay beforehand.
    via u/TheatreKid1020
  • 11
    Font - ObjectiveSense102. 6 hr. ago YTA OP All your sister did was to salvage the heirloom portion of the heirloom ring
    via u/ObjectiveSense102
  • 12
    Font - Whole Mechanic_8143 6 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [6] Agreed. OP, YTA. You wouldn't have to bitch about sis "saving the day" if you aren't being conscious about having ruined it in the first place. You could have replaced the stone yourself when your mom asked for the setting back instead of getting pissed sis picked up the slack when you couldn't be arsed to do so.
    via u/Whole Mechanic_8143
  • 13
    Font - Zealousideal-Tap-2016 hr. ago I'm the sister who always has to fix shit after my siblings (usually my dumbass younger brother) broke it to begin with, so there is a hearty YTA from this corner.
    via u/Zealousideal-Tap-2016
  • 14
    Font - LGisMe69 11 hr. ago YTA First of all why did you confront your sister it doesn't make any sense as she was nice for putting a new stone in the old setting Secondly you shouldn't have used the stone from your grandmas ring. It's a family heirloom and frankly your girlfriend shouldn't have asked. Either way you shouldn't have even if your mother said it was ok especially since you didn't know the sentimental value
    via u/LGisMe69

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aita heirloom ring family engagement
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